London.

As my time abroad begins to come to a close I think one of the things that I will never forget is that while I was here I fell in love...with the city of London.

In all seriousness, from the first time I got lost trying to navigate the double-decker buses back to the Arran House from Tower Bridge 5 hours after landing in August to my last journey into the city wandering the streets of Soho last Friday, I have loved every minute I have spent in London.

I feel fortunate to have had the opportunity to share this city with Mom and Dad, John, and Dadda at Christmas-time, and as wonderful as I think London is in the cold, rain, and snow, there is nothing compared to London on a gorgeous, warm, sunny day which is exactly what Phoebe and I had this past Friday. Since last July when I read the opening chapter of A.N. Wilson’s London: A History, and he described the incredible view of the city from the top of Parliament Hill at Hampstead Heath all I wanted to do was see the view for myself. Having been so immersed in the city streets, I was looking forward to have the opportunity to step back and take it all in from afar. Our class was supposed to visit Hampstead Heath on our last day in London in September, but unfortunately it was one of the two days, during the 4 weeks that we had been there, that the rain was so terrible that we wouldn’t have even been able to see the cityscape. Finally I dragged Phoebe and after hiking the area for a while we found ourselves staring at the most gorgeous (fog free) view of the city. It is actually is the opposite view that you see if you are standing up at the Royal Observatory in Greenwich—and for me a perfect end, seeing the city in the exact opposite direction than I did the first time I saw the city from Greenwich in August.



These past few months I have been all over Europe. I have seen beautiful sights, eaten amazing food, and been with the most incredible people. One of my friends will say Barcelona is her favorite city, another loves Paris, just yesterday one friend told me when she visited Kilkenny she felt at home--- I loved traveling, and the places I visited, but there is just something about London that I will never forget.

I will always have a fond memory of the Goodge St Tube stop and nights at The Court with Humanities 309, sitting at Covent Garden on a cool summer evening listening to buskers and developing favorites all over the city (there is a string quartet on Jubilee Bridge that is incredible!), relaxing with a book or my journal in any of the green spaces—a hidden gem in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, and emerging myself in the surrounding history, from museums, to cathedrals, to the old Roman wall scattered across the city.

I will never forget all that I learned about London; about travel, about food, about history, about pubs, about fashion, about fear, about love, about myself.

Boston, see you soon; but London, I’ll be back.

Xo.
-A

Sometimes Pictures Just Aren't Enough

Before I go into hibernation so that I can study for my three upcoming exams I decided to upload all of my photos from my trips over the past few months. It was actually really fun to look through the photos because I was able to finally sit and remember the incredible sights I saw, and the forever lasting memories that came with those trips. I did the best I could to journal most days during these trips, but figured rather than summarizing my trips in individual blog posts the best thing would be for me to share my photos so that you could see for yourself exactly what I experienced.

However, as I finished going through my HUNDREDS of photos I couldn't help but find myself a little disappointed. People always say, "A picture speaks a thousand words," but I got to tell you, these pictures DO NOT exude all of the beauty that I attempted to capture. For example one day in Florence my friends and I climbed this hill to see what our hostel owner described as "the best view of Florence", and let me tell you, he was right. From the top of this hill you could see the highest point of the Duomo, the Arno River running underneath the Ponte Vecchio, you could see it all; and it was breathtaking. I didn't want to miss any of it, so I did my best to take a panoramic view with my camera, and I truly thought I had captured it all. But I didn't. A picture never could.

A photo is great for keeping a memory, and I couldn't imagine not having kept the thousands of memories I did, but a photo is tough for sharing. You will be able to get the essence of what I have taken through a picture; but the smells, sounds, and the excitement felt inside the first time I saw the Eiffel Tower, the Trevi Fountain, Big Ben, or Saint Patricks Cathedral---these are things I'm sad I can't share.

I feel so lucky that I have had the opportunity to travel and live in Europe. I cannot wait to come home, but I also can't wait to come back. There are more places that I want to visit than I already have, and there are so many places I want to return to so that I can share the moments with the ones I love. I want you all to remember: the incredible lasagna I had in Florence, the Croque Madame I savoured in Dublin, the unusual calm that surrounded me the first time I saw Buckingham Palace, the talented guitarist I stumbled upon in Madrid, the smell of Borough Market any day of the week in London--these are things I will always remember. And as much as I want the ones I love to understand these things too, they are the things that I will never take for granted.

My travles were amazing, and below I have included a few highlights from my trips. I am currently trying to figure out how to link all of my photo albums, but for now enjoy this brief glimpse into my journey.

xo.
-A



1. View of the city of Athens
2. Patsy, Me, and Phoebe in Oia
3. Me and Patsy throwing coins into the Trevi Fountain
4. Oia
5. Rialto Bridge, Venice
6. Rainbow over Piazza after thunderstorm in Florence
7. Me at castle in Lisbon
8. St. Patrick's Cathedral, Dublin

I don't cry..

That's what I told someone last night, I don't cry. But that's not true. At all.

In fact I do cry; a lot.

During the season finale of Gilmore Girls I remember choking back tears when Lorelai and Luke finally ended up together, WHENEVER I see a wedding (in person, pictures, or even on tv), in almost every episode of The Biggest Loser I get emotional, everytime I hear "Butterfly Kisses" by Bob Carlisle, on those lonely nights this year in England when all I wanted to do was be at home, I even remember after Siobhán and I saw "The Notebook" in theatres for the first time we had to wear oversized sunglasses for at least an hour after to hide our swollen, bloodshot eyes....trust me, I cry.

So why last night did I say I don't?

One thing I've noticed in particular is that no matter how much I WANT to cry, especially when saying goodbye, I can't. The only teary goodbye I can recall is last spring when I was saying goodbye to my roommates Phoebe and Catherine. And it was a blubbery, messy goodbye. But all the times my parents have dropped me off at Dickinson, bringing me to the airport in August, and again in January--my eyes would fill up, but nothing came out. I've had to say goodbye to somebody three times already since we met in September, and in those moments not a single tear rolled down my cheek.

Maybe subconsciously I feel the need to be strong. That I don't want to break down in front of the people closest to me so they don't have to worry about me. Vulnerability is scary. But the people who I hide my tears from are those in my life who know me better than anybody else.

I'm already vulnerable. Why not show emotion, show tears.

xo.
-A

Music makes me lost control

Last night I went to my first concert since the summer! The headliner was Passion Pit, from none other than Cambridge, Massachusetts. Passion Pit played in Boston a couple months ago, and I was so jealous because the radio station had an in-studio performance, followed by a night of bowling, before attending the show at House of Blues in Boston...and where was I...Norwich! So when the events for the LCR (the on campus club) got posted at the beginning of the semester I immediately put the concert on my calendar. As the date approached I realized I actually hadn't purchased a ticket and ended up getting one of the last tickets before the show sold out. It was the first concert I had actually paid to attend in, well..a long time, and I could not wait!!

Yesterday afternoon I realized I didn't actually have anyone to go to the concert with, so excited about seeing the show I prepared myself to attend what was potentially going to end up being a rave alone, until I found out a couple of other Dickinson students had also purchased tickets. So last night we made our way out to a PACKED LCR. (We later found out that Ellie Goulding who was opening for Passion Pit apparently has the number 1 song on the UK charts right now..who knew?) After a terrible pre-opener my friend Andrew and I decided to push our way up closer to the stage for Ellie's set. And glad we did, because she was really good! I don't quite understand how she has the number 1 song...but hey, to each his own.

At the end of her set me, Andrew, and two other girls who we had come with decided we could get even closer for Passion Pit. We got sucked into the crowd and braced ourselves for the possibility that we had just of placed ourselves right in the center of the mosh pit area. When the lights in the room went out and the beat started pumping through the speakers I was rushed back into a place I love.

A place where the music takes control of your body. Where everybody around you is moved by the same motion. Jumping together. Singing along to the worlds. Being moved my the song. The atmosphere. And the passion and dedication of the people performing for US up on that stage. I love it all.

And I had forgotten how much of me needs to be part of that atmosphere to feel alive.

I don't typically like huge crowds, where you can barely move, not to mention breathe. When I am at clubs with my friends I usually avoid the dance floor all together because there are too many people and insist on hanging out and dancing at the elevated area surrounding the floor. But for some reason I crave to be part of the crowd at concerts. When I got pushed through the crowd (my height and size allows this to happen quite easily) and made it to the front I was ecstatic.

At the end of the show I could feel myself beaming from ear to ear. I had forgotten what it feels like to just get that natural high off of life, off of music.



After the concert was over we went upstairs to hang out with one of my flatmates who was on-air for his radio show and before we left to go back to our flats we walked by one of the empty rooms where the lead singer of Passion Pit was hanging out, waiting for the rest of the band members to come up so they could watch a movie. We knocked on the door to thank him for a great show and Michael Angelakos came out in the hall and chatted with the four of us for about half an hour. We talked about life on the road, concerts we've been to, new artists/albums we like, Boston, how much money he makes per performance, he even gave one of the girls advice on how to break into the publishing industry. It was great to talk to him and for him to be so honest with us.

The perfect end to an already incredible evening.

I have been to more concerts than I can count, but this one has definitely moved to be one of the top ones on my list.

xo.
-A

I often miss this little girl...

More than ever I have been thinking about my past and my future. For some reason I'm having a really difficult time focusing on the present.

When I was a younger girl I had HUGE expectations of what I would be like when I grew up. I could not wait to be an adult, to be older and more mature. I had dreams of falling in love, getting married, living in a beautifully decorate home with a white picket fence and a garden, and two kids running around the yard. I wanted a job where I could wear a stylish business suit, and where I would go into the coffee shop in the morning and the barista would see me and say, "the regular?" I always thought I wanted to work for a record company in some form or another, and although my career plan has changed and I now hope to someday own my on event planning company, the things I always wanted as a young girl haven't changed. But but unlike 10, 7, 5, even 2 years ago when I could see these dreams in my mind, these are things I no longer SEE. These things truly seem like a dream and will never be a reality.

Maybe this is why I am having so much difficulty focusing on the PRESENT. It's why what I do TODAY seems pointless. But I know that what I do TODAY affects what will be my future, but for some reason as I go through my days it seems simply like a necessary task. It does not feel like I am living my life. And this I regret.

I have been spending so much time being jealous of the girl I used to be, and of her dreams, hopes, and expectations that I have forgotten what it means to live MY life, not hers. In a way I feel like if do not continue to dream about these things that I am letting her down.


"Some things just aren't meant to be, no matter how much we wish they were." -Gilmore Girls

My DREAMS haven't changed. But I feel like my sense of REALITY has. My ideas of what the future will hold is not the same as it used to be, and I think 'me' in the present is scared of that.

I often miss this little girl...whose dreams had no barriers...who believed in a world where anything is possible with a heart that is full and unbroken.


xo.
-A

The Travel Bug Bit Me

When I was younger and I would hear about peoples travels all over the world I was surprisingly never jealous of them. At Newton I had the opportunity to travel to: China, France, Costa Rica, and Italy, but I never took advantage of any of these trips because it wasn't something that interested me. Friends would go on family vacations and partake in abroad programs all over the globe, but to be frank I just didn't get it. Even within the United States the majority of the traveling I have done is up and down the East Coast.

Because of my schedule last semester I wasn't able to do much traveling, in fact the only mid-semester trip I took was to The White Cliffs of Dover in Southern England. And to be perfectly honest with you it didn't really bother me that much. But at the end of the semester when I finally went to France I was hooked! I loved my time in Toulouse and Paris, and on my way to the airport from Paris to London I found myself saying to my friends, if we have time in the Spring we should totally come back to Paris and see what it's like without the snow (and I meant it!) Then after our spontaneous weekend a couple of weeks ago in Barcelona I was finding myself regretting my lack of travels outside of New England, and could not wait to sit down with my friends to book my 4 weeks of Spring Break.

I finally have almost everything booked, but I continuously find myself looking at the map of Europe and thinking, I want to go there, and there, and there, and there!

Below is a map of Europe with X's marking my travels:
Black X= Where I have been
Blue X= Where I will be going/have booked
Red X= Where I hope to visit before I leave (during the 2 month exam period)

I keep thinking about all of the other places across Europe that I still hope to visit even once I am living back in the states. Booking all of these trips are making me think about my future (even more than I already was). I always imagined a career where I would graduate, hopefully be able to afford my own apartment, and settle into a city that would become my home, but I'm beginning to realize that I'm not sure that's the life I want anymore. Eventually I want to move into my own house that I decorate myself, ideally with a family in the future, but at this point in my life that's not something I see happening anytime soon, and I'm actually okay with that. I hope that especially while I'm still young I have a job that requires me to travel around a lot, whether it's around the world or just around the United States there are so many cities and places that I still want to explore, and I really hope that this current boost will encourage me to do the traveling that I want to do.

I have made a new goal for my life, something I've talked about before but feel like will get me motivated, before I die I want to see a game at every Major League Baseball stadium in the country...that way I get to watch a game, and visit several cities and states (2 down 28 to go!)


Who's coming with me??


xo.
-A

The Start of Something

For as long as I can remember every year when Fat Tuesday (or as the Brits call it "Pancake Day") comes along I prepare myself for 40 days without sweets (no cake, cookies, chocolate, or candy), at this point it has become ritual that I started by following in suit behind both of my parents; I blame you both for my unbelievable sweet-tooth! ;-) But over the past few months I have been making an effort to eat healthier, and with this I have made an effort to limit my sweet in take. So I figured it wasn't really a sacrifice to give up sweets again this year and decided to think about something else I could give up that would be equally difficult...but after wracking my brain I realized that giving up something this year wasn't going to be a productive "Lent", and so decided that this year I would do something to improve myself. I made the decision that for the 40 days of Lent I would either Blog or write in my journal daily, this is something that I hoped to do from the time I arrived in England and I regret not doing, so my hope is that this short daily ritual will continue for the rest of my time here, and that way I will have a more solid record of my time abroad besides from my memories. I may not always write about my experiences here, but also about my thoughts, ideas, and dreams...so enjoy and I hope you all (you know, all of those regular readers I have out there..) will check this blog more regularly and I hope you enjoy. I am already a few days into this Lenten season, but am finding this more of a challenge than anticipated, so I am excited/anxious to see where this takes me.

"I've been a dancer, I've been a dancer all my life. But I'm not dancing round this one tonight." -Tyler Hilton

xo.
-A